I’ve lost some dear friends who have died in the last few months. I’ve also lost dear friends who have either moved out of the area or simply stopped feeling our friendship and moved out of relationship with me. Grief comes in many forms and I’m sad and facing my personal grief over their loss. Grief is not a bad thing. Grief is not a thing to be avoided. It’s also not something to wallow in or take on as an albatross around our neck forever either. In acknowledging our grief, facing it, and doing the best we can to live with it, we learn some important lessons that come out of our grief.
The first lesson for us is that in grief we have an invitation to recall and cherish the precious memories, shared times, shared experiences, and special people with whom we have shared the journey of life. It’s important to keep those memories in our heart and never forget the good times and good people God has blessed us with. Mary and I recently took the opportunity to take a few days and camp at one of my most favorite campgrounds. I spent many happy hours over many years at a National Forest Campground called Sherando Lake in Lyndhurst, Virginia. Some hiking friends and I had some great times at Sherando Lake. One of those friends has since died, another in a nursing home with dementia and can’t share those memories with me anymore, but two others remain. Being in Sherando Lake campground again became a time of recalling great times with great friends and it was renewing to think of my friends again. Recall your great friends in life, thank God for them, and if they’re still living, let them know how much they mean to you.
The second lesson for us is to value the importance of maintaining those precious friendships we are honored to have in our life. Other than cherishing memories of days gone by and friends who shared those days but are now gone, there isn’t much we can do to be with or talk to those who have “gone on to their reward in heaven” as people like to say. But there are people who are still with us, people who love us and give us the invitation to love them and share life with. We should never be too busy or too caught up in the wrong things to not take the time to remain connected. Once our dear friends are gone the opportunity is gone. Don’t wait, remain connected with your dear friends now…not later or “someday.” Someday is too late; it may not be available tomorrow.
A third lesson is that in remembering our precious friendships we should never let little things, little irritations, hurt feelings, things said or done which weren’t good to get in the way of remaining connected. Every day brings fresh new things to get upset about, little things to let grow into big things and hurtful memories to hold on to instead of letting go. Let go of the irritations and limitations of daily life and cherish the people God has sent into your life. Things get said, things don’t get said, things happen, things don’t happen and the best plan in life is let the bad things go and hold on to the good things. We only get so many good friends and even fewer precious friends to let little irritations grow into big stoppers in our friendships.
Make new friends but keep the old, for one is silver and the other gold. Stay connected with the friends in our life.